"Oh no. Oh no..no..."
"Something wrong Marie?" I look up at my boyfriend.
"I'm pregnant."
**
"Fine. If you wanna leave, then go."
"I'm not taking care of someone's bastard child, Marie. I'm outta here."
"Then go!"
"Just for the record, I hope you fall down the stairs." I watch Brad as he walks away from me, then I look down at my stomach. I can't help but thinking it's all its' fault.
**
"Excuse me? Did you just say twins?" The tech nods.
"I see two distinct heartbeats." I shake my head. I feel dizzy. Of all the worse luck, I end up with twins. I wasn't even sure if I wanted this baby in the first place, and now it's twins.
**
"Hello Miss Shaw. How are you?" I hate it when people call me Miss Shaw.
"Fine, thanks." She folds her hands on her desk.
"So I see that you're looking into adoption, but for only one of the babies?" I nod.
"Yep."
"Are you sure that's something you'd like to do? I often get young women such as yourself coming in here, only wanting one of the babies, and then asking me later if they could get the other back."
"First, I'm not that young. Second, I've researched and know what I'm doing. Third, I'm just not capable of taking care of two kids. I'm not here to be talked out of it. I'm here to set up an adoption." She nods.
"Okay, I see. Well, if you're sure, let's get this started."
**
"Here's Baby A and.... there's Baby B. Both look like girls." Oh good. "Have you thought of any names yet?" I think it's weird that the tech is asking me that, but answer her anyway.
"Not names so much as letters. The first one is getting A and B initials and the second C and D."
**
"3... 2... 1... Okay, another big breath. One more push Marie and your first baby is out." I take another gulp of air and hold it while they take their sweet old time counting backwards from 10. I pant and flop back against the pillows. That's when I hear the first tiny cry. "We're not done yet, Marie. A few more pushes and your second baby will be out. Come on now." I think briefly about telling them where to shove their few more pushes, but I'm too tired. Four more pushes and I hear the second little cry.
"Can I see them?" After they're cleaned up and blanketed they're both set on my chest. I look at them both for a few seconds.
"What are their names?"
"Ariel Brianne and Carolyn Diane."
"And which one are you keeping?" I look at them both again.
"Carolyn, I'm keeping her."
"Okay, well I'm sorry Marie, but I'm going to have to take Ariel. Her parents are waiting for her." I nod and hand her over to the nurse.
"Marie, I'm sorry, but I need Carolyn. We need to weigh her and check her over." I nod again and give my baby to another nurse. I watch sleepily as a few nurses make sure she's okay.
28 August 2013
01 June 2012
The Boy Next Door, Chapter 14
I swim over to Adrian and lean back against the side of the pool, my elbows bent back behind me, resting on the deck. He walks over and stops a couple feet in front of me. "So what made you decide swimming at midnight was a good idea? What if I get a cramp and drown?" I hear him chuckle.
"Thought it was a good excuse to see you in a bathing suit, but it's kind of dark so it backfired on me." I'm thankful for the darkness so he can't see me blush. Which I feel like I've been doing a lot of the past couple days. Lyssa would take that as a sign that I'm into him. Maybe she's right. I almost jump when I feel fingers slide across my waist. "Someone's jumpy."
"How do I know you're really Adrian and not some type of serial killer?"
"Would a serial killer smell so good?" I roll my eyes. One of his fingers traces patterns across my stomach.
"Chyeah, to lure poor, unsuspecting Emma in. Duh. Besides, you smell like the pool." He comes one step closer and slides his other hand up my side, resting it at my ribs. I'm suddenly very aware of how my stance is making my boobs stick out, what little of them I have. I contemplate moving my arms but I'm afraid moving would interrupt whatever is going on right now.
He gives my side a slight squeeze and I feel goosebumps break out all over my skin despite how warm I feel. My breathing quickens as I feel one of his hands slide around my side and rest at the small of my back, making him step even closer to me, but not yet touching my anywhere else but with his hands. If only I were taller I would lean in and see if he kisses me, but he's a good 5 inches taller than I am.
I feel the hand that's on my back creep up and try to tug at the strings on my top. Thank goodness I double knotted them, cheeky bastard. "What do you think you're doing?" He moves closer so the front of our legs are touching.
"You got me. And here I thought I was being all sneaky." I roll my eyes and move his hand back down to my hip.
"Careful there, bub. My brother might be gay but I bet he could take you."
"If he's built anything like you I highly doubt that." I duck under his arm and turn around, walking backward to a deeper part of the pool.
"Nah. You're a twig. He'd crush you." From the light of the moon I see Adrian advancing on me. I stop when I reach the part of the pool floor that dips to make the deep end. Adrian walks up to me and I faintly see him smile.
"Wanna say that to my face?" I poke his chest with my finger, turning a little so his back is to the deep end.
"I said, you are a twig. He would beat your ass to the curb and back." Before he can reply I stick my hands on the top of his head and dunk him under the water, turning and running toward the edge of the pool before he can retaliate. I'm about half way out when his arms get me by the waist and drag me under the water with him. I wriggle out of his grasp and surface the water, getting a breath before I'm pulled under again.
I try to escape again but he won't let go, so I turn around to face him. I can see the vague outline of his head from the moonlight above the water, so I know approximately where his face is. I reach for his neck and bring my lips to his, surprising him enough so that his hold on me loosens, giving me enough room to get away. I break the water and kick around with my feet, laughing when I feel contact with some part of his arm. I get to the edge of the pool as he comes back up for air. hoisting myself up and sitting on the edge.
"Even I can kick your butt. Pretty sad." He walks up to the side of the pool and sits beside me.
"You cheat." I laugh and use my foot to splash him.
"I don't hear you complaining."
"Nope. That's the second kiss today I haven't had to even try for."
"How do you know I don't go around kissing random boys all the time?"
"Uh huh, I see how it is." I give him a shove and then lean against his arm. He rests his chin on the top of my head. Before I can stop myself I yawn and Adrian chuckles. "Wore you out huh?"
"Guess so." I hear him inhale like he's going to say something else, but then he lets the air out and is silent. All of a sudden I'm exhausted and want to go to sleep. I get up and go for my towel, picking up my keys and turning back toward Adrian.
"Where you going?" I suppress a yawn.
"To bed." He gets up and walks a few steps toward me.
"Oh. Do you, uhm.. did you want to stay at my place?" I smile and wrap my towel around my shoulders. Now that I'm not moving I'm getting chilly.
"Sure. I just need to change." I turn to the house then stop. "Want to come up?" I let myself and Adrian into the house quietly, leading him up to my room. I unlock my door and toss my keys on the bed, going to my dresser to find something to change into. His house is a tad cold so I decide on a long sleep-shirt and a pair of shorts. "I'm just going to wash my hair quick." He nods and sits on my bed.
I close the bathroom door behind me and have a quick shower, brush my teeth, and stick my hair back in a french braid. Once I'm presentable I go back into my room to see Adrian asleep on my bed. "Uh oh.. Hmm." I cross my room and stand a couple feet from my bed, wondering what to do. My dad would freak if he found a guy in my bed under his roof. I reach my arm out but before I can do anything Adrian jumps up and grabs me, pulling me over him and onto the bed. After he lets me go I sit up and shake my head. He just grins.
"I got you, admit it." I shove his legs with my feet, grab my keys and phone and get off the bed.
"I admit to nothing. Come on, let's get to your place before I fall asleep on my feet."
"Thought it was a good excuse to see you in a bathing suit, but it's kind of dark so it backfired on me." I'm thankful for the darkness so he can't see me blush. Which I feel like I've been doing a lot of the past couple days. Lyssa would take that as a sign that I'm into him. Maybe she's right. I almost jump when I feel fingers slide across my waist. "Someone's jumpy."
"How do I know you're really Adrian and not some type of serial killer?"
"Would a serial killer smell so good?" I roll my eyes. One of his fingers traces patterns across my stomach.
"Chyeah, to lure poor, unsuspecting Emma in. Duh. Besides, you smell like the pool." He comes one step closer and slides his other hand up my side, resting it at my ribs. I'm suddenly very aware of how my stance is making my boobs stick out, what little of them I have. I contemplate moving my arms but I'm afraid moving would interrupt whatever is going on right now.
He gives my side a slight squeeze and I feel goosebumps break out all over my skin despite how warm I feel. My breathing quickens as I feel one of his hands slide around my side and rest at the small of my back, making him step even closer to me, but not yet touching my anywhere else but with his hands. If only I were taller I would lean in and see if he kisses me, but he's a good 5 inches taller than I am.
I feel the hand that's on my back creep up and try to tug at the strings on my top. Thank goodness I double knotted them, cheeky bastard. "What do you think you're doing?" He moves closer so the front of our legs are touching.
"You got me. And here I thought I was being all sneaky." I roll my eyes and move his hand back down to my hip.
"Careful there, bub. My brother might be gay but I bet he could take you."
"If he's built anything like you I highly doubt that." I duck under his arm and turn around, walking backward to a deeper part of the pool.
"Nah. You're a twig. He'd crush you." From the light of the moon I see Adrian advancing on me. I stop when I reach the part of the pool floor that dips to make the deep end. Adrian walks up to me and I faintly see him smile.
"Wanna say that to my face?" I poke his chest with my finger, turning a little so his back is to the deep end.
"I said, you are a twig. He would beat your ass to the curb and back." Before he can reply I stick my hands on the top of his head and dunk him under the water, turning and running toward the edge of the pool before he can retaliate. I'm about half way out when his arms get me by the waist and drag me under the water with him. I wriggle out of his grasp and surface the water, getting a breath before I'm pulled under again.
I try to escape again but he won't let go, so I turn around to face him. I can see the vague outline of his head from the moonlight above the water, so I know approximately where his face is. I reach for his neck and bring my lips to his, surprising him enough so that his hold on me loosens, giving me enough room to get away. I break the water and kick around with my feet, laughing when I feel contact with some part of his arm. I get to the edge of the pool as he comes back up for air. hoisting myself up and sitting on the edge.
"Even I can kick your butt. Pretty sad." He walks up to the side of the pool and sits beside me.
"You cheat." I laugh and use my foot to splash him.
"I don't hear you complaining."
"Nope. That's the second kiss today I haven't had to even try for."
"How do you know I don't go around kissing random boys all the time?"
"Uh huh, I see how it is." I give him a shove and then lean against his arm. He rests his chin on the top of my head. Before I can stop myself I yawn and Adrian chuckles. "Wore you out huh?"
"Guess so." I hear him inhale like he's going to say something else, but then he lets the air out and is silent. All of a sudden I'm exhausted and want to go to sleep. I get up and go for my towel, picking up my keys and turning back toward Adrian.
"Where you going?" I suppress a yawn.
"To bed." He gets up and walks a few steps toward me.
"Oh. Do you, uhm.. did you want to stay at my place?" I smile and wrap my towel around my shoulders. Now that I'm not moving I'm getting chilly.
"Sure. I just need to change." I turn to the house then stop. "Want to come up?" I let myself and Adrian into the house quietly, leading him up to my room. I unlock my door and toss my keys on the bed, going to my dresser to find something to change into. His house is a tad cold so I decide on a long sleep-shirt and a pair of shorts. "I'm just going to wash my hair quick." He nods and sits on my bed.
I close the bathroom door behind me and have a quick shower, brush my teeth, and stick my hair back in a french braid. Once I'm presentable I go back into my room to see Adrian asleep on my bed. "Uh oh.. Hmm." I cross my room and stand a couple feet from my bed, wondering what to do. My dad would freak if he found a guy in my bed under his roof. I reach my arm out but before I can do anything Adrian jumps up and grabs me, pulling me over him and onto the bed. After he lets me go I sit up and shake my head. He just grins.
"I got you, admit it." I shove his legs with my feet, grab my keys and phone and get off the bed.
"I admit to nothing. Come on, let's get to your place before I fall asleep on my feet."
27 May 2012
The Boy Next Door, Chapter 13
"Where are you going?" I give Adrian an odd look.
"It's midnight, where else would I be going?" His face falls and I smile. "Relax, I'm going to the bathroom." I start to head out his bedroom door and stop. "Uh, where is it?"
"Downstairs." I make my way to the bottom floor of the house, trying to be quiet because Adrian's grandma is sleeping. I'm kind of surprised I'm still here at midnight, considering I don't usually sleep over at boy's houses when I've known them less than a week. But it feels different with Adrian. I feel like I've known him for years.
After I'm done in the bathroom I take it upon myself to check his fridge for a drink. I find two cokes and bring them back upstairs with me. I stop short when I hear Adrian talking to someone.
"Yes, I've got her. No she doesn't. Let me take care of this." I frown, wondering what, or who, he could be talking about. I decide to put it in my mental files to check up on later and walk into the room.
"Got us a drink." I toss him a coke and sit down on the bed, opening mine and taking a sip. Neither of us say anything so it's quiet for a few minutes.
"It's probably cooled down if you'd like to go for a walk."
"Moonlit walk, huh? That the best you can do?"
"You haven't seen anything yet, honey." I feel a blush creep its way up my face.
"That so? Well then give it your best shot." Suddenly Adrian leans toward me and I feel like he's going in for a kiss, so I lean slightly toward him. Only for him to reach behind me for his cell phone. My blush deepens in embarrassment.
"You're kinda cute when you're embarrassed." I roll my eyes and give him a shove.
"Shut up. So where are we going?"
"You're still the tour guide, remember?" I shake my head and stand up, stretching.
"Nope, it's after midnight. My guide duties are officially over. You're turn."
"The last time I was here I was 3, you think I remember this area any?" I smile and look down at him. He's leaning back on his elbows. The thin wife beater he's wearing leaves little to the imagination when it comes to his body. Not like I need one after seeing him half naked the other night. My eyes wander back to his face and I see a mischievous look in his eye.
"What?"
"We should go swimming in your pool." I'm about to tell him he's crazy but stop, not finding a good reason why we shouldn't.
"Fine, but I'm not going naked. I'm going to get a bathing suit first." He smiles.
"Who said anything about being naked?" I roll my eyes and grab my purse, slinging it over my shoulder.
"I'll meet you outside in 10." I make my way downstairs and out his front door, across our yards and onto my back porch. I unlock the door and quietly head up to my room, unlocking my bedroom door and shutting it behind me. I'm about to turn my light on when I remember that Adrian can see me from his room so I shut my curtain first.
I survey my options and decide to take a risk, picking one of my smaller suits. Lyssa always tells me to wear it when I want to make a guy's jaw drop. I frown, thinking of Lyssa. But instead of dwelling on it now I decide to think about it later, intent on having fun. I redo the french braid in my hair, wash my face and grab a towel, suddenly feeling nervous about being in the pool with Adrian. Which is silly, of course. We're just swimming.
I lock my bedroom door behind me and make my way to the backyard. It's dark, save for the reflection of the moon on the water. I drop my keys on the grass and lay my towel over them, sitting on the edge of the deck, waiting for Adrian. After a couple minutes I see him walking from his yard to mine. He can't see me yet because I'm covered by the house shadow. I watch him check the water temperature with his toes then glance up at where my bedroom window is.
I think about surprising him but he's positioned too far from the house for me to sneak up on him. So instead I stand up and walk over. "Made it finally." I think I see him smile but it's so dark it's hard to tell.
"I did." He looks at the pool. "Ladies first." I walk to the shallow end and stick a foot in. The water is still warm from the sun earlier in the day. It feels almost like warm bath water. I step down the ladder, sighing at the feel of the water. I've always loved swimming, ever since I was a baby. My nickname was Ducky for the longest time. I look up and catch Adrian watching me.
"Coming in or what?" He hops down into the water and makes a bit of a splash. I turn away and glance back just in time to see water come flying at me, which hits me square in the face. "What are you, 12?" I turn back to Adrian and am surprised when I don't see him. I look under the water but it's too dark to see where he is. Suddenly I feel hands on my ankles and give a shriek just before I'm pulled under. My butt hits the bottom of the pool and I float back to the surface to see Adrian an inch from my face. "Yep, you're 12, all right."
"Just having a little fun, so sue me." I grin and use his chest to kick back with my feet, flipping and going under the water. I feel fingers try to grab my toes so I kick faster and head for the far side of the pool without surfacing. I break the surface under the diving board quietly, watching Adrian look around for me. He can't see me here because the diving board shadows me. I smile as he puts his hands on his hips.
I take a deep breath and go back under, using the side of the pool to push off and glide toward him. He's wearing white trunks so it's easy to spot him. I reach my hand out and tickle his side, moving before he can spot me. The idea to tug his shorts down comes to mind, but I'm not that bold. Although frankly I doubt he'd have any trouble doing the same to me.
Instead I swim to the middle of the pool and surface, trading water as I watch him spin around. I let out a laugh and he turns toward me. "Are you a fish or something?"
"No, just real good at holding my breath. Truce?" I see him hold his hands up.
"Truce."
"It's midnight, where else would I be going?" His face falls and I smile. "Relax, I'm going to the bathroom." I start to head out his bedroom door and stop. "Uh, where is it?"
"Downstairs." I make my way to the bottom floor of the house, trying to be quiet because Adrian's grandma is sleeping. I'm kind of surprised I'm still here at midnight, considering I don't usually sleep over at boy's houses when I've known them less than a week. But it feels different with Adrian. I feel like I've known him for years.
After I'm done in the bathroom I take it upon myself to check his fridge for a drink. I find two cokes and bring them back upstairs with me. I stop short when I hear Adrian talking to someone.
"Yes, I've got her. No she doesn't. Let me take care of this." I frown, wondering what, or who, he could be talking about. I decide to put it in my mental files to check up on later and walk into the room.
"Got us a drink." I toss him a coke and sit down on the bed, opening mine and taking a sip. Neither of us say anything so it's quiet for a few minutes.
"It's probably cooled down if you'd like to go for a walk."
"Moonlit walk, huh? That the best you can do?"
"You haven't seen anything yet, honey." I feel a blush creep its way up my face.
"That so? Well then give it your best shot." Suddenly Adrian leans toward me and I feel like he's going in for a kiss, so I lean slightly toward him. Only for him to reach behind me for his cell phone. My blush deepens in embarrassment.
"You're kinda cute when you're embarrassed." I roll my eyes and give him a shove.
"Shut up. So where are we going?"
"You're still the tour guide, remember?" I shake my head and stand up, stretching.
"Nope, it's after midnight. My guide duties are officially over. You're turn."
"The last time I was here I was 3, you think I remember this area any?" I smile and look down at him. He's leaning back on his elbows. The thin wife beater he's wearing leaves little to the imagination when it comes to his body. Not like I need one after seeing him half naked the other night. My eyes wander back to his face and I see a mischievous look in his eye.
"What?"
"We should go swimming in your pool." I'm about to tell him he's crazy but stop, not finding a good reason why we shouldn't.
"Fine, but I'm not going naked. I'm going to get a bathing suit first." He smiles.
"Who said anything about being naked?" I roll my eyes and grab my purse, slinging it over my shoulder.
"I'll meet you outside in 10." I make my way downstairs and out his front door, across our yards and onto my back porch. I unlock the door and quietly head up to my room, unlocking my bedroom door and shutting it behind me. I'm about to turn my light on when I remember that Adrian can see me from his room so I shut my curtain first.
I survey my options and decide to take a risk, picking one of my smaller suits. Lyssa always tells me to wear it when I want to make a guy's jaw drop. I frown, thinking of Lyssa. But instead of dwelling on it now I decide to think about it later, intent on having fun. I redo the french braid in my hair, wash my face and grab a towel, suddenly feeling nervous about being in the pool with Adrian. Which is silly, of course. We're just swimming.
I lock my bedroom door behind me and make my way to the backyard. It's dark, save for the reflection of the moon on the water. I drop my keys on the grass and lay my towel over them, sitting on the edge of the deck, waiting for Adrian. After a couple minutes I see him walking from his yard to mine. He can't see me yet because I'm covered by the house shadow. I watch him check the water temperature with his toes then glance up at where my bedroom window is.
I think about surprising him but he's positioned too far from the house for me to sneak up on him. So instead I stand up and walk over. "Made it finally." I think I see him smile but it's so dark it's hard to tell.
"I did." He looks at the pool. "Ladies first." I walk to the shallow end and stick a foot in. The water is still warm from the sun earlier in the day. It feels almost like warm bath water. I step down the ladder, sighing at the feel of the water. I've always loved swimming, ever since I was a baby. My nickname was Ducky for the longest time. I look up and catch Adrian watching me.
"Coming in or what?" He hops down into the water and makes a bit of a splash. I turn away and glance back just in time to see water come flying at me, which hits me square in the face. "What are you, 12?" I turn back to Adrian and am surprised when I don't see him. I look under the water but it's too dark to see where he is. Suddenly I feel hands on my ankles and give a shriek just before I'm pulled under. My butt hits the bottom of the pool and I float back to the surface to see Adrian an inch from my face. "Yep, you're 12, all right."
"Just having a little fun, so sue me." I grin and use his chest to kick back with my feet, flipping and going under the water. I feel fingers try to grab my toes so I kick faster and head for the far side of the pool without surfacing. I break the surface under the diving board quietly, watching Adrian look around for me. He can't see me here because the diving board shadows me. I smile as he puts his hands on his hips.
I take a deep breath and go back under, using the side of the pool to push off and glide toward him. He's wearing white trunks so it's easy to spot him. I reach my hand out and tickle his side, moving before he can spot me. The idea to tug his shorts down comes to mind, but I'm not that bold. Although frankly I doubt he'd have any trouble doing the same to me.
Instead I swim to the middle of the pool and surface, trading water as I watch him spin around. I let out a laugh and he turns toward me. "Are you a fish or something?"
"No, just real good at holding my breath. Truce?" I see him hold his hands up.
"Truce."
26 April 2012
Home Is Where The Heart Is, Chapter 7
"Horror."
"Ah, you're not one of those girls, huh."
"One of what girls?" He sticks a DVD into the player and presses play, coming to sit beside me on the bed.
"One of those girls that's afraid of a movie."
"I've never got why people get scared, they're just movies. What're we watching?"
"You'll see." I wait a few minutes for the movie menu and groan.
"Watchmen, seriously? That's not horror." He grins and shrugs.
"I was gonna put this in no matter what you said anyway. What's wrong with Watchmen?"
"I was never into the whole comic movie thing."
"So you don't like Spider Man or X-Men or any of those?" I shake my head and he mock gasps. "Well you're watching it with me anyway."
"I bet you just like the glowy blue guy cause he's naked half the movie."
"You got me." This almost makes me smile. I'm surprised to learn that I'm actually having a good time with Shay. It's been so long since I've genuinely liked the person I'm with. Huh, weird. About half way through Shay turns to me. "Want a drink? I think there's some Gatorade in the fridge upstairs."
"Sure." He gets up and leaves the room toward the kitchen upstairs. When he doesn't return five minutes later I start to wonder where he got to. I don't have to wonder for long, however, as soon I hear yelling coming from upstairs. I get off the bed and stand beside the door, trying to hear what's going on.
"...she is."
"Don't think so. Now get out or I'm calling the cops." I jump a little as I realize it's Doug. Is he really that mad that he'd come back the next day? I look around the room and spot a window near the ceiling. I climb up on the dresser and open it enough to fit through, relieved that there's no screen. I shimmy through the window and try my best to close it from the outside. I turn around and am glad to see that I'm in the backyard, away from the kitchen windows. I run across the backyard and spot a smallish hole in the fence. I run through it and take off down the street.
I run down a few streets and slow to a walk when I'm sure I won't be found by anyone I know. I turn another corner and jog down the street to my little hideout. I found it within a few months of living here and as far as I know, not a lot of other people come here. I move the board and climb inside, breathing deeply to get air back in my body.
I climb up the ladder to the second floor and crawl over to the comfiest spot I could find up here. I've gathered a few things and stored them away up here so they wouldn't get stolen. Stuff like this makes me wonder why me, but I stopped dwelling on that a long time ago. There's no point in thinking too hard about things that I can't change. I wonder sometimes what my life would be like if my mom had of lived, but that just depresses me, so I don't think about that often either.
I move a small piece of wood and look out onto the street. I didn't realize this before, but looking out from here, I can see the cross street to Geoff's street. This way I'll get some sort of advanced warning if anyone comes this way. I put the wood back and lay on my back, wondering what my next move will be. I don't have the best thing going here, but I'm not miserable. Maybe I should have taken that train ride. Now I'm too worried about Doug to go out anywhere just in case he finds me. I don't like being afraid of someone.
"Hey Mick, you in here?"
"Swift?"
"Yeah, where are yah?"
"Hang on, I'll climb down."
"Climb down?" I climb back down the ladder and walk over to Swift, standing a few feet from him.
"How'd you know I was here?"
"I saw you come in. Who the fuck is Doug?" Great.
"He's no one." He crosses his arms.
"Doesn't sound like no one to me. He's been asking around, tryin'a find you. Stupid faggy ass. I told him to fuck off." I give Swift a small smile. As annoying as he can get, he's actually an all right guy. If anyone wants to mess with me, he's usually first in line to kick their ass. "So what's the deal?"
"It's stupid. He called on me, I went to his house, he did and said stuff I wasn't comfortable with, I bit him, ran off, he's been following me."
"What the fuck? Where'd you stay last night?"
"Same place as the night before." A silly grin lights up his face. "And it was nothing like that. I think the guy's developed into a friend without me realizing it."
"I'm gonna fuckin' kick his ass." I roll my eyes.
"He's like seven feet taller than you." Swift is a mighty 5 foot nothing, but acts as if he's 10 feet tall. Gets him into trouble a lot. "Look, I've got two guys helping me out. I'd feel terrible if I was the reason you ended up in the hospital." He shakes his head and I can see his knuckles turn white. "Please?" He stops scowling, but his knuckles stay white.
"I'm not gonna sit around for long, Mickey. He's gonna get what's comin' to him." I nod and smile a little.
"I know, but just let me handle this." He finally agrees and after much convincing he leaves me alone in the building. I climb back up to my spot and end up drifting off to sleep.
"Ah, you're not one of those girls, huh."
"One of what girls?" He sticks a DVD into the player and presses play, coming to sit beside me on the bed.
"One of those girls that's afraid of a movie."
"I've never got why people get scared, they're just movies. What're we watching?"
"You'll see." I wait a few minutes for the movie menu and groan.
"Watchmen, seriously? That's not horror." He grins and shrugs.
"I was gonna put this in no matter what you said anyway. What's wrong with Watchmen?"
"I was never into the whole comic movie thing."
"So you don't like Spider Man or X-Men or any of those?" I shake my head and he mock gasps. "Well you're watching it with me anyway."
"I bet you just like the glowy blue guy cause he's naked half the movie."
"You got me." This almost makes me smile. I'm surprised to learn that I'm actually having a good time with Shay. It's been so long since I've genuinely liked the person I'm with. Huh, weird. About half way through Shay turns to me. "Want a drink? I think there's some Gatorade in the fridge upstairs."
"Sure." He gets up and leaves the room toward the kitchen upstairs. When he doesn't return five minutes later I start to wonder where he got to. I don't have to wonder for long, however, as soon I hear yelling coming from upstairs. I get off the bed and stand beside the door, trying to hear what's going on.
"...she is."
"Don't think so. Now get out or I'm calling the cops." I jump a little as I realize it's Doug. Is he really that mad that he'd come back the next day? I look around the room and spot a window near the ceiling. I climb up on the dresser and open it enough to fit through, relieved that there's no screen. I shimmy through the window and try my best to close it from the outside. I turn around and am glad to see that I'm in the backyard, away from the kitchen windows. I run across the backyard and spot a smallish hole in the fence. I run through it and take off down the street.
I run down a few streets and slow to a walk when I'm sure I won't be found by anyone I know. I turn another corner and jog down the street to my little hideout. I found it within a few months of living here and as far as I know, not a lot of other people come here. I move the board and climb inside, breathing deeply to get air back in my body.
I climb up the ladder to the second floor and crawl over to the comfiest spot I could find up here. I've gathered a few things and stored them away up here so they wouldn't get stolen. Stuff like this makes me wonder why me, but I stopped dwelling on that a long time ago. There's no point in thinking too hard about things that I can't change. I wonder sometimes what my life would be like if my mom had of lived, but that just depresses me, so I don't think about that often either.
I move a small piece of wood and look out onto the street. I didn't realize this before, but looking out from here, I can see the cross street to Geoff's street. This way I'll get some sort of advanced warning if anyone comes this way. I put the wood back and lay on my back, wondering what my next move will be. I don't have the best thing going here, but I'm not miserable. Maybe I should have taken that train ride. Now I'm too worried about Doug to go out anywhere just in case he finds me. I don't like being afraid of someone.
"Hey Mick, you in here?"
"Swift?"
"Yeah, where are yah?"
"Hang on, I'll climb down."
"Climb down?" I climb back down the ladder and walk over to Swift, standing a few feet from him.
"How'd you know I was here?"
"I saw you come in. Who the fuck is Doug?" Great.
"He's no one." He crosses his arms.
"Doesn't sound like no one to me. He's been asking around, tryin'a find you. Stupid faggy ass. I told him to fuck off." I give Swift a small smile. As annoying as he can get, he's actually an all right guy. If anyone wants to mess with me, he's usually first in line to kick their ass. "So what's the deal?"
"It's stupid. He called on me, I went to his house, he did and said stuff I wasn't comfortable with, I bit him, ran off, he's been following me."
"What the fuck? Where'd you stay last night?"
"Same place as the night before." A silly grin lights up his face. "And it was nothing like that. I think the guy's developed into a friend without me realizing it."
"I'm gonna fuckin' kick his ass." I roll my eyes.
"He's like seven feet taller than you." Swift is a mighty 5 foot nothing, but acts as if he's 10 feet tall. Gets him into trouble a lot. "Look, I've got two guys helping me out. I'd feel terrible if I was the reason you ended up in the hospital." He shakes his head and I can see his knuckles turn white. "Please?" He stops scowling, but his knuckles stay white.
"I'm not gonna sit around for long, Mickey. He's gonna get what's comin' to him." I nod and smile a little.
"I know, but just let me handle this." He finally agrees and after much convincing he leaves me alone in the building. I climb back up to my spot and end up drifting off to sleep.
The Impossibility Of Sensibility, Chapter 17
It takes a long time for me to fall asleep. Not considering Emmett's body temperature is that of the snow outside, I don't want to fall asleep and wake up to find it was all a dream. "You're still not sleeping, Jilly." I smile shyly in the darkness.
"You feel like a freezer." I feel him raise his head a little.
"Do you need another blanket?" I'm wrapped in two quilts and have another laying between us.
"No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I can lay farther away if you're too cold." I shake my head and grip his shirt.
"Don't even think about it." He chuckles for a second before falling quiet. I glance up at his face to see that it's very serious and thoughtful.
"What happened?" I frown.
"What do you mean?"
"To put yourself in the hospital."
"I told you how it happened. I stopped eating and -"
"No. I know what you told me, I want to hear what really happened. The Jillian I knew never would have done something so stupid." My frown deepens and I lean up on my elbow.
"The Jillian you knew doesn't exist anymore. She died the night you left." He shakes his head.
"I don't believe it. You're strong and full of life, Jill. You always have been. It's one of the things that I love about you."
"You've been gone a long time, Emmett. Things are different." I settle back down onto my pillow. "Are you ever going to see your family again?"
"No, it's too dangerous."
"Why?"
"I thought we agreed tonight was just about us. No questions." I look up to see him smiling.
"I hope my mom doesn't decide to wake me up tomorrow. That would be hard to explain."
"I'd hear her coming. Don't worry."
"Why did you come today?"
"Because of your wish."
"How do you know what I wished for?" His smile deepens.
"I have my ways. Now shush, it's late, go to sleep." I smile a little and lay back on my pillow. I don't know how he knew but I'm glad he did.
**
I step on the scale and close my eyes. Last month I weighed 111, four pounds short of the 115 minimum to stop being seen by Dr Cullen. "115 on the nose. Congratulations, Jillian." I hop off and do a dance.
"Finally. I'm so happy."
"Now, I just need to let you know that although you are of a healthy weight now, it is very easy to slip back into old habits when the threat of being hospitalized again is gone." I nod while putting on my boots.
"I know that. But I also know that I'm happier now than I've been in a very long time so I don't think that will happen, Dr Cullen." A slight smile makes it's way onto his face.
"I'm glad. And if you ever need anything you can always call me, day or night." I nod again. "If you don't have any questions you're free to go." I shake my head and stand up.
"I don't think so." Dr Cullen stands up and opens his office door for me.
"Have a good day, Jillian."
"You too, Dr Cullen. Bye!" I skip down the hall to my father, who's waiting at his usual spot. He stands up and I hug him.
"Good news, I presume?" I nod and smile up at him.
"I can stop coming!" He leads me out of the hospital and to the family car.
"That's fantastic. I'm proud of you, Jill. We'll have to celebrate."
"My birthday was just weeks ago. Don't put yourself out again." He shakes his head.
"It's no trouble at all. You deserve it." I smile, feeling like my life is coming back on track after so long. Of course not the track it was originally on, but close enough that I am content, if not down right happy. Instead of driving right home my father drives to the ice cream shop. It's a nice treat and I enjoy spending time with him. We don't do it enough.
After Father drops me off at home I go to my room and flop down on my bed, wondering if I'll see Emmett tonight. He's been over a few times since that first night and I've gotten a few questions answered. Not enough to satisfy my curiosity though. Hopefully in time everything will make sense and Emmett and I will be able to carry out our lives like we were supposed to.
One can hope, anyway.
"You feel like a freezer." I feel him raise his head a little.
"Do you need another blanket?" I'm wrapped in two quilts and have another laying between us.
"No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I can lay farther away if you're too cold." I shake my head and grip his shirt.
"Don't even think about it." He chuckles for a second before falling quiet. I glance up at his face to see that it's very serious and thoughtful.
"What happened?" I frown.
"What do you mean?"
"To put yourself in the hospital."
"I told you how it happened. I stopped eating and -"
"No. I know what you told me, I want to hear what really happened. The Jillian I knew never would have done something so stupid." My frown deepens and I lean up on my elbow.
"The Jillian you knew doesn't exist anymore. She died the night you left." He shakes his head.
"I don't believe it. You're strong and full of life, Jill. You always have been. It's one of the things that I love about you."
"You've been gone a long time, Emmett. Things are different." I settle back down onto my pillow. "Are you ever going to see your family again?"
"No, it's too dangerous."
"Why?"
"I thought we agreed tonight was just about us. No questions." I look up to see him smiling.
"I hope my mom doesn't decide to wake me up tomorrow. That would be hard to explain."
"I'd hear her coming. Don't worry."
"Why did you come today?"
"Because of your wish."
"How do you know what I wished for?" His smile deepens.
"I have my ways. Now shush, it's late, go to sleep." I smile a little and lay back on my pillow. I don't know how he knew but I'm glad he did.
**
I step on the scale and close my eyes. Last month I weighed 111, four pounds short of the 115 minimum to stop being seen by Dr Cullen. "115 on the nose. Congratulations, Jillian." I hop off and do a dance.
"Finally. I'm so happy."
"Now, I just need to let you know that although you are of a healthy weight now, it is very easy to slip back into old habits when the threat of being hospitalized again is gone." I nod while putting on my boots.
"I know that. But I also know that I'm happier now than I've been in a very long time so I don't think that will happen, Dr Cullen." A slight smile makes it's way onto his face.
"I'm glad. And if you ever need anything you can always call me, day or night." I nod again. "If you don't have any questions you're free to go." I shake my head and stand up.
"I don't think so." Dr Cullen stands up and opens his office door for me.
"Have a good day, Jillian."
"You too, Dr Cullen. Bye!" I skip down the hall to my father, who's waiting at his usual spot. He stands up and I hug him.
"Good news, I presume?" I nod and smile up at him.
"I can stop coming!" He leads me out of the hospital and to the family car.
"That's fantastic. I'm proud of you, Jill. We'll have to celebrate."
"My birthday was just weeks ago. Don't put yourself out again." He shakes his head.
"It's no trouble at all. You deserve it." I smile, feeling like my life is coming back on track after so long. Of course not the track it was originally on, but close enough that I am content, if not down right happy. Instead of driving right home my father drives to the ice cream shop. It's a nice treat and I enjoy spending time with him. We don't do it enough.
After Father drops me off at home I go to my room and flop down on my bed, wondering if I'll see Emmett tonight. He's been over a few times since that first night and I've gotten a few questions answered. Not enough to satisfy my curiosity though. Hopefully in time everything will make sense and Emmett and I will be able to carry out our lives like we were supposed to.
One can hope, anyway.
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