SEHE; Chapter 1

Wednesday July 23 [10w 2d]

I place the white stick on the side of the tub and finish peeing, acutely aware of the dye moving across the little window as I wash my hands. I stare intently at the offending stick while I wait for the seconds to tick by.

After the 3 minutes are up I grab the stick and then promptly drop to my knees. The little + stares at me accusingly, throwing a big "I told you so!" in my face.

I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, trying to slow my rapid heart. No such luck. Gripping the stick, I get up and gather all evidence from the bathroom and bring it to my bedroom, stashing it under my unmade blanket.

"Annabel!" I cringe as I hear my name from the kitchen. I'm not sure I can deal with my mom right now, but I go to her anyway. I enter the kitchen to see her sifting through papers on the table. She looks at me and gives me a small smile. "Hi honey. Charlie and I are going to the McFabel's for dinner tonight. There's leftover casserole in the fridge. Nate is out but Jordan is home, if you need help with the littles."

"Uh, sure, I guess. It would have been nice if you'd asked first. Can Phoebe come over then?" She nods.

"I know and I'm sorry. It was kind of last minute. They're a big potential client." She looks down at her watch and frowns. "I should actually be going soon. Thanks hon, you know where to find the number if you need me." I watch as my mom picks up a stack of papers, shoves them in her bag, then jogs up the stairs.

I locate the phone and dial Phoebe's number. Probably the only number I know better than my own. After 4 rings her dad picks up. "Hey Dillon, is Phoebe there?"

"Oh hi Annabel. Yep, just hang on." I hear muffled conversation and then my best friend is on the other end of the line.

"Bellie, I was just thinking about you. I had a dream last night." I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and make my way to my room.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It was pretty surreal. What's up?"

"Mom's volun-told me that I'm babysitting tonight. She has a client dinner. You're allowed to come help. Plus I have to tell you something."

"Oh, very cryptic. Okay, I'll go ask." I wait about 30 seconds before she's back at the phone. "We're good to go. Dad's going to drive me over before he heads to work, so I'll be there in about half an hour."

"Sounds good. I'll likely be up in my room, just come up." We hang up and I toss the phone on my bed, wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do. This was never part of the plan. Kids didn't even enter the equation for another 10 years, at least. I sigh deeply and flop down on my bed. Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away. I snort and close my eyes, suddenly, intensely exhausted.

I thought I was smarter than this. I'm a Ravenclaw, for Pete's sake. I should know better. And I do. It was Keelan that asked to ignore the condom that time. Please baby, just this once. I've heard it's so much better without the rubber. Funny thing is it didn't make much of a difference for me. And now look at where it's gotten me.

I feel a tear leak out of my closed eyelid so I shut my eyes tighter. Crying never accomplishes anything and just leaves me with a headache. 20 minutes later I hear my bedroom door open. "Want me to close it?" I nod my head and sit up, looking at my best friend from the age of 4. "So what's up chicky?"

Instead of telling her, I reach under the blanket and pull out the pregnancy test then hand it to her. I watch her face go from confusion to realization. "Oh, Bell.." She sits beside me and wraps me up in a hug. I sag against her and close my eyes, shuddering out a few breaths. "How long have you known?"

"Like an hour. You're the first person I've told." She rubs my arm.

"Dumb question, Keelan's right?" I let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, definitely his. Stupid git that he is." We sit in silence for a few minutes before there's a knock at my door. It opens to reveal my mother.

"Hi Bell, hi Phoebe. Just letting you know that I'm leaving now. The boys are in the basement playing video games. Please don't let them play all evening. We should be home before bed but if not, bedtime is 9:30. See you both later." She leaves my door frame before I can respond. Typical.

I have 5 siblings, all boys. Nate is 21, Jordan is 19, I'm 17, Freddy is 10, Mark is 8 and Leon is 6. Nate, Jordan and I are from my mom's previous marriage. I was just a baby when my mom and father split up so Charlie is basically my dad. In all the ways that count anyway.

I look at Phoebe and offer up a sad smile. "Well, let's get this night over with."