NOTE: I'm saddened by the news of Alan Rickman's passing. My thoughts are with his family and friends during the days and months to come.
Wednesday November 12 [26w 2d]
Draco and I still haven't had a chance to really talk. In all honesty, I've been trying to avoid him. We only have a couple classes together so it's been pretty easy, but we both have Thursday afternoons off so I know I can't avoid this conversation any longer. He catches me as I'm finishing my lunch and gets a few looks as he sits beside me. "Hello, Bell."
"Good afternoon, Draco."
"Care to join me for a walk?" I contemplate this. It's getting colder and is starting to frost. I've already almost slipped once while walking to a class.
"Maybe just inside the castle. I almost fell on Monday." He nods and sits beside me as I finish my drink. I can hear whispers while we walk away from the table. "So what's on your mind?"
"I think you know already. Have you thought at all about what I told you?"
"Yes. Quite a lot." I can tell he's itching to ask but I know he's too proud to beg. "I had no idea how deeply your feelings run, but I am so very flattered. I'd be lying if I said I don't reciprocate, but as for how much, I'm not really sure yet. It seems like it's been a long time, but Keelan and I broke up only a couple months ago. I'm carrying his baby, I've had more duties as a Prefect, tons of homework, and so forth. I haven't really had time to sit down and dissect my feelings for you." I stop him and take his hand. "But I do know this. I know that I like you. I know that, given the time, I could likely love you. And I know that the thought of being with you after we leave school makes me happy."
A smile lights Draco's face. Without looking around to see if anyone is watching he leans down and kisses me right in the middle of the corridor. After a few seconds he pulls away, the smile still on his lips. "That's all I want, Bell. Just time with you." I smile up at him.
"Then time you shall have." I'm not sure how long, but we have one of those moments. Where nothing else exists. All too quickly, it's over and I'm aware of my surroundings. Ones that include Lena standing with her hands on her hips, grinning at us like an idiot. I smile shyly as Draco takes my hand. Lena walks over to us still grinning. "I think that smile is going to fall off your face if it gets any bigger." She laughs.
"Can't I be happy for my best friend? I do have a message for you from Flitwick. He'd like to see you at your earliest convenience. Nothing bad, I assume. He didn't look angry. In fact, he looked downright merry."
"All right. I'll head up and see him now. I'll catch you before dinner, Draco?" He nods and kisses my cheek before walking in the direction of his common room. "Want to walk with me?"
"Sorry, I'm meeting Melanie in the library. He's in the staffroom." I sigh in relief. His office is on the seventh floor. I don't really fancy walking all the way up there right this moment as it's getting harder to do so. I knock on the door of the staffroom and ask to speak with Flitwick. A few minutes later he bustles out of the room.
"Ah, miss Leed! Would you mind taking a short walk with me? I have a thing or two I'd like to discuss."
"Sure. Is there something wrong?"
"Oh no, dear girl, nothing of the sort. I wanted to inquire as to your immediate plans for the duration of your pregnancy, and after your baby is born."
"Oh! Uhm, well I hadn't really thought of that, I suppose. To be frank, I don't really know what I'm going to do."
"I've had myself a conversation with Professor Dumbledore. He has decided to give you one of the extra living quarters as a sort of temporary living arrangement until you deliver. Of course, afterward you will need to find somewhere more suitable for an infant." My head is spinning. I had no idea anyone really cared that much, let alone the headmaster using space in his brain to think of me.
"That would be fantastic, professor! Truly."
"Not a problem, not a trouble." I feel like I could hug him, I'm so happy. "How have you been doing?"
"Quite well. I'm really enjoying classes."
"Wonderful. Now, for the difficult bit, miss Leed. It is a worry as to how you will continue with your studies after the delivery." My heart falls to my feet.
"Right, of course."
"There is no shame in returning next year to finish up what you need. Plenty of students before you have done it and you won't be the last." I feel an intense need to cry.
"I understand, professor."
"I am sorry, miss Leed." I shake my head.
"Oh no, of course it happens this way. I couldn't possibly keep up my studies away from the school, with a newborn no less. I'll just have to graduate a little later than I'd planned, is all." Flitwick stops walking and turns toward me.
"You're a bright girl. You'll do very well. If you'll excuse me though, I have some matters to attend to." I nod and wait until he's around the corner to let the tears out. I slump down the wall and sit on the floor, letting the emotions of the last 10 minutes roll down my cheeks. First, the elation of a private living quarters and second, the devastation in learning I won't graduate on time.
I realize right then that I hadn't really thought about just how much my life would change after the baby is born. I feel stupid for not coming to this sooner. I look up quickly when I hear footsteps coming down the corridor. I hastily wipe the tears off my face and stand up as fast as I can manage. A few 5th year Hufflepuffs walk by me and smile. I try my best to smile back but I know it's halfhearted.
"Bell!" I turn around at my name to see Lena walking up the corridor. "Oh no, are you okay?"
"Ah, no, not really. Well, sort of. I don't know. I have a couple things to talk about." She looks concerned.
"Want to head up to the dorm?" I nod and she takes my arm, steering me to the staircases.
"I really wish we didn't have seven flights of stairs to go up."
"I know, honey. Take your time, I'm in no rush."
+++
Once we make it to our dormitory I tell Lena about my conversation with Flitwick. She's equally as excited about the living quarters as I was. And sad for me about my delayed graduation. "Oh no! I'm so sorry, Bell." I shake my head and wipe a few more tears off my face.
"Well, really, what did I think? That I'd manage to keep up with studying and coursework and papers all while juggling the responsibilities of a newborn?" I sigh deeply. "I don't know what I'm going to do once she comes, really. I don't know if I can live with my mother and a baby. I know she'll try to force her opinions on me."
"Didn't Draco say he wants to live with you?"
"Well sure, but I'd rather live at home than alone. He'll still be here. I guess my only option really, is to live at home."
"You'll just have to explain to your mum that it's your baby and she's gran."
"You're right." Lena smiles so I nudge her leg with my toe. I also have a minor heart attack when an owl clatters at the window and screeches to be let in. Lena quickly opens the window, the owl drops a letter onto my lap, and then flies back outside.
"Who's it from?" I open the envelope and several pieces of paper come out. One is from my mother, the others are from Phoebe.
"Mainly Phoebe." I've been kind of neglecting my correspondence with her lately.
"I'll leave you to it." I start with the paper from my mum. I haven't written to her yet as I've been waiting for her to write to me.
Dear Annabel,
I hope you're doing well. Phoebe has kept us all updated on you and the pregnancy. I'm very excited to hear that the baby is a girl. You're going to love having a girl.
Truthfully I had expected a letter before now, but I'm not angry. I know I reacted badly. But, I've taken a lot of time to think.
You will always have a place here at home. Please don't ever feel like you're unwelcome. I would really like to help you once the baby comes. You're going to need a lot of it. I know I'm only the nan and I'll try my hardest to remember that.
I love you Bell. I look forward to your reply.
I stare at the paper, completely dumbfounded. I had never expected this of her. And for the first time today, I think maybe everything will be okay.