04 January 2016

SEHE; Chapter 10

Sunday November 09 [25w 6d]

I spend the next week keeping to myself as much as possible. I even ignore Lena, preferring to work through my feelings on my own. I know no one will understand why I'm upset. Keelan cheated on me, spread rumours about me, and then backed out of being a father to his baby. Part of me doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. But there's a part that wishes he would step up and be a father. And that's the part I'm letting take over.

Now that everyone knows about the pregnancy it seems my belly is growing by the hour. Gossiping hasn't yet died down - not that I expected it to. I do wish they would find something else to yammer about. Going for meals is getting tedious. Looks and whispers.

After lunch I walk to the library to study and find myself cornered by Lena and Draco. Lena looks angry and Draco just looks nervous. "What's going on, Bell?" I shift my feet and shrug, looking at my books.

"I've been going through some stuff." I catch Lena roll her eyes.

"Well no bloody kidding." There's a few minutes of awkward silence. "Why are you shutting me out?" I glance around the library. This is hardly the place for this type of conversation.

"Can we go somewhere else and talk?" Both of my friends agree and we walk to a place down the corridor with a place for me to sit. I sigh and pick a piece of lint off my sweater. "I'm sorry for ignoring you both. It hasn't been entirely intentional. I just don't feel like you'll understand why I'm upset."

"Draco filled me in on what Keelan said. I know he isn't sticking around." I nod and look at my shoes.

"He's hurt me, yes. But he's still the father to my baby. It hurts me that he doesn't want it." Lena sits beside me.

"I can't pretend to know how you feel, Bell, but I'm not a complete dunce. I'm your friend and if this upsets you then I'll do my best to sympathize. Even if I do want to kick his ass." She takes my hand and I smile at her, tears leaking their way down my cheeks. Draco squats down so he's eye level with me.

"I also have no idea what this is like for you, but I wasn't lying when I said I was in this with you." There's a sudden intensity in his eyes that kind of scares me. He takes both my hands and squeezes them lightly. "In fact I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous of Richards because he's spent the last 6 years as your best friend."

"What are you saying?" I can feel my heart beating in my entire body.

"I'm saying that I love you, Annabel. I'm saying that I want to spend the rest of my life being your best friend and your partner." My heart seems to stop and I just stare into Draco's eyes.

"We're 17, Draco. I'm pregnant." He clutches my hands a little tighter.

"So what? I've always wanted to be a father. My mother would love to have a grandchild."

"I'm not a pureblood." We both know it would be an issue for his family for him to be involved with someone that isn't 'pure'. "I know you don't care about my blood, but you'd be cast out and I won't do that to you." Draco stands up. There is anger in his eyes.

"You know what? I don't care. My family hasn't done anything that I consider to be great. They support Voldemort and ruin other people's lives. I don't want any part of that life. If being with you means that I'm exiled then so be it. I choose a life with you in it." I'd all but forgotten about Lena when she suddenly shifts beside me. I look at her, not knowing what to think.

"I think I need to think about what you've told me, Draco." He looks hurt so I stand up and rest my hands on his shoulders. "It's a lot to take in. I just need to mull it all over." He smiles shyly and nods. "I'll see you tomorrow in class, okay?" He hesitates, gives me a quick hug, then walks off down the corridor.

+++

It's near 11 that night before Lena and I get time to talk properly. It has given me time to think to myself about what Draco's told me. I'd honestly rather just go to sleep but I know Lena has been bursting to talk with me about it all. "So, Bell, was that as unexpected for you as it was for me?" She's currently painting my toenails a vibrant shade of purple.

"Yes. I mean, he's told me he likes me and has for a while, but I didn't know how deeply until he said all those things. I always assumed his family's opinions about Muggle borns ran deeper."

"He certainly hasn't acted to the contrary." There's silence as she concentrates on my toes. "How do you feel about him?"

"I like him. I haven't had enough time to love him, but I'm sure I could." She nods. "He seems to be completely accepting of the fact that I'm a teenage mother. Her own father hasn't even accepted it."

"I'm sorry about that, Bell, really. I seriously dislike the bastard, but if it upsets you then it upsets me." She gives an unpainted toe a small squeeze and I smile down at her.

"I know it doesn't make any sense. I don't really understand it myself." I pause, wondering if I want to admit this out loud. I decide I do. "If I'm completely honest, Lena, I really did think we were going to last forever. I had my life planned out and he was in every bit of it. I guess I'm still trying to come to terms with a future that won't happen anymore." She sighs deeply.

"I know, honey."

"I wish he wasn't such a prat that he could at least be a father, even though I don't want him anymore."

"I guess he's just not strong enough to realize he can be one without the other."

"Maybe." I suddenly feel weepy and deeply grateful that I have Lena. She's helped me through so much and continues to prove that she's a great friend. "I want to thank you."

"Oh please, this is nothing, Bell. Can you even reach your feet anymore?" I chuckle.

"Not about that. About you. You're a wonderful person and an amazing friend. I'm very lucky." A smile lights up her face.

"It's been my pleasure. I know I can be a handful at times, and it isn't difficult being your friend. You're a lovely person." I feel a swell of friendship in my chest and it spills over into tears. "Now for an important question: What colour should I paint my nails?"

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