Thursday July 24th [10 w 4 d]
I swing my feet a little as I sit on the exam bed, waiting for the nurse to return. It's already been confirmed by her that I am indeed pregnant, she's just gone to get a bunch of stuff for me. I catch Phoebe looking worriedly at me again. I appreciate her concern, but I hate sympathy. I got enough of that growing up with 5 brothers.
"So, Annabel? Here I've got some papers for you to sign, some to look over, and lots to take home. We're going to schedule an ultrasound to see how far along you are because you can't remember your last period. They're pretty booked but I was able to squeeze you in for next week. Does Wednesday work for you?" I nod. "Perfect. If you could just read over these and sign them we can go over some other things." I skim the papers I'm supposed to sign, give them my signature, and hand them back to Lisa, the nurse.
"What exactly happens in an ultrasound?" Even though Phoebe's parents had their baby a year ago, she refused to take part in anything to do with it, including ultrasounds.
"That's a good question. They'll explain it all to you on Wednesday, but Annabel will dress into a paper gown and lie on a bed similar to the one she's sitting on now. The ultrasound tech will squirt some gel onto your abdomen and use a little instrument to see the baby inside your belly. From there she'll be able to tell you approx how far along you are and approx how big the baby is. Depending on the tech, they usually give you a picture or two, if you'd like one. When they know approx how far along you are, depending, from there you can decide if you'd like to keep going with the pregnancy or terminate it. We don't normally do abortions after 20 weeks, so you'll have lots of time to decide what you'd like to do." She reaches for more papers. "Here's some information you can take home with you. If you have any question you can call me here." She hands me her card along with about 50 sheets of brightly coloured paper. "That's all for today, you're free to go."
5 minutes later Phoebe and I step out of the clinic. I just want to go home and sleep all day, but my dentist's appointment is in an hour and a half. We decide on an early lunch and then head to Phoeb's house. I flop down on her bed, intent on getting a bit of sleep. I'm just dozing off as the phone rings.
"Hello? Oh hi Claire. Yep, she's right here. Want me to give.. Oh all right, sure. Yep, we'll see you tomorrow." She hangs up the phone and sits down beside me. "Good news, the dentist office called your mom and cancelled your appointment. It's set for tomorrow at 1 instead." Thank God.
"Good, I was so not looking forward to that. All I wanna do is sleep." She rubs my arm.
"I know, honey. The nurse said you'll be more tired than usual early on so to get lots of rest." I groan and roll onto my back, placing my hand on my stomach.
"I dunno how I'm supposed to rest. My mom's been going on and on about her business opening next week for months and how she'll need me to help her. My brother's can't be arsed so I'm stuck helping."
"We'll figure something out, don't you worry."
Wednesday July 30th [11 w 2 d]
"Annabel Leed? My name is Jessica, if you just want to come on back with me." Jessica leads me to a small change room with a paper gown and a little bench. "If you want to remove everything but your undergarments and put the gown on, I'll be in room 4. Is there anyone with you today?"
"Yeah, my friend Phoebe Peters." She leaves me in the small room to dress into the gown. Once I'm done I seek room 4 and open the door slowly.
"Come on in, Annabel. Just lie down for me." I lay on the table. I must be clearly uncomfortable because she smiles.
"Just relax. It's a much better experience if you're relaxed." She grabs a paper sheet, pulls up the gown to expose my tummy, and tucks the sheet into my panties.
"Why don't the gowns just have a big hole in the front?" Jessica laughs as she squirts the gel onto my lower stomach.
"That's a good question. Would be much easier, huh." As she moves the thing across my stomach I look up at the ceiling. There's small posters all over the room. Reading about safe sex doesn't make me feel much better. Little too late for that, eh? I lay there for what seems like ages until she finally moves the monitor so I can see it. "Here's your baby." I look at the screen, seeing the makings of a baby. "You look to be about 11 weeks along already." I just look at her.
"11 weeks? Shouldn't I have known way before this?"
"Most times, but not always. Especially if you're not tracking your periods regularly. A lot of women don't get any symptoms at all well into their second trimester." Oh. "Would you like me to call in your friend?" I nod. She clicks a button and asks the receptionist to send Phoebe in. A minute later she opens the door and takes a seat on the stool beside me, taking my hand. "I was just telling Annabel here that she's about 11 weeks along. The baby is growing nicely and is right on track."
"Can you tell the sex, yet?" She shakes her head.
"Not until about 20 weeks. And even then it's never 100% certain. Would you like a picture?" I nod, not really knowing what to say. I don't even know if I want to keep it yet. She prints a picture and hands it to Phoebe. I look at it while she cleans the gel off my stomach and pulls the gown back down. "That's it for today. Your obgyn will most likely schedule another ultrasound close to 20 weeks if you decide to keep going with your pregnancy. Best of luck, Annabel."
I leave the room with Phoebe behind me, staring at the picture. She waits for me while I dress back into my clothes. I dread going back home to my mother as she'll definitely want me to help her with her new business. I was the only one left because my brothers are all hopeless. Not for the first time I wish I had a sister. Maybe then I wouldn't have to do everything all the time.
Phoebe hands me the picture as I step out of the little room. "I told Gabe we'd meet him for lunch during his break. That all right?" I nod, opening the door to the outside. Truth be known, it wasn't all right. None of this was.
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