It takes a long time for me to fall asleep. Not considering Emmett's body temperature is that of the snow outside, I don't want to fall asleep and wake up to find it was all a dream. "You're still not sleeping, Jilly." I smile shyly in the darkness.
"You feel like a freezer." I feel him raise his head a little.
"Do you need another blanket?" I'm wrapped in two quilts and have another laying between us.
"No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I can lay farther away if you're too cold." I shake my head and grip his shirt.
"Don't even think about it." He chuckles for a second before falling quiet. I glance up at his face to see that it's very serious and thoughtful.
"What happened?" I frown.
"What do you mean?"
"To put yourself in the hospital."
"I told you how it happened. I stopped eating and -"
"No. I know what you told me, I want to hear what really happened. The Jillian I knew never would have done something so stupid." My frown deepens and I lean up on my elbow.
"The Jillian you knew doesn't exist anymore. She died the night you left." He shakes his head.
"I don't believe it. You're strong and full of life, Jill. You always have been. It's one of the things that I love about you."
"You've been gone a long time, Emmett. Things are different." I settle back down onto my pillow. "Are you ever going to see your family again?"
"No, it's too dangerous."
"Why?"
"I thought we agreed tonight was just about us. No questions." I look up to see him smiling.
"I hope my mom doesn't decide to wake me up tomorrow. That would be hard to explain."
"I'd hear her coming. Don't worry."
"Why did you come today?"
"Because of your wish."
"How do you know what I wished for?" His smile deepens.
"I have my ways. Now shush, it's late, go to sleep." I smile a little and lay back on my pillow. I don't know how he knew but I'm glad he did.
**
I step on the scale and close my eyes. Last month I weighed 111, four pounds short of the 115 minimum to stop being seen by Dr Cullen. "115 on the nose. Congratulations, Jillian." I hop off and do a dance.
"Finally. I'm so happy."
"Now, I just need to let you know that although you are of a healthy weight now, it is very easy to slip back into old habits when the threat of being hospitalized again is gone." I nod while putting on my boots.
"I know that. But I also know that I'm happier now than I've been in a very long time so I don't think that will happen, Dr Cullen." A slight smile makes it's way onto his face.
"I'm glad. And if you ever need anything you can always call me, day or night." I nod again. "If you don't have any questions you're free to go." I shake my head and stand up.
"I don't think so." Dr Cullen stands up and opens his office door for me.
"Have a good day, Jillian."
"You too, Dr Cullen. Bye!" I skip down the hall to my father, who's waiting at his usual spot. He stands up and I hug him.
"Good news, I presume?" I nod and smile up at him.
"I can stop coming!" He leads me out of the hospital and to the family car.
"That's fantastic. I'm proud of you, Jill. We'll have to celebrate."
"My birthday was just weeks ago. Don't put yourself out again." He shakes his head.
"It's no trouble at all. You deserve it." I smile, feeling like my life is coming back on track after so long. Of course not the track it was originally on, but close enough that I am content, if not down right happy. Instead of driving right home my father drives to the ice cream shop. It's a nice treat and I enjoy spending time with him. We don't do it enough.
After Father drops me off at home I go to my room and flop down on my bed, wondering if I'll see Emmett tonight. He's been over a few times since that first night and I've gotten a few questions answered. Not enough to satisfy my curiosity though. Hopefully in time everything will make sense and Emmett and I will be able to carry out our lives like we were supposed to.
One can hope, anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment