SEHE; Chapter 18

Wednesday January 14 [35w 2d]

I shift a little in my bed, laying myself on my left side to see if it will help with the gradual onslaught of contractions. Phoebe is sitting at my desk doing her homework and she frowns at me. "More?" I nod.

"Seems so. I don't think I'm going to last the week, Phoeb." Her frown deepens and her eyebrows crease.

"Anything I can do?"

"Help me with this pillow. I can't get it quite right." She assists me with adjusting the pillow under my belly and sits beside me, rubbing my arm comfortingly. "I'm worried."

"Oh, honey, I know. But you're not alone."

"I want Draco to be there when I deliver. I don't see how that's possible."

"Do you think your headmaster will allow him to leave?" I shake my head sadly.

"I'm not sure. I wouldn't feel right asking anyway. He has enough to think about without taking up space in his head for my problems." Phoebe's hand halts before resuming her motions on my arm.

"You've mentioned a war?" I sigh deeply.

"I don't know much about it. I prefer not to read the papers because it's all hyped up nonsense. I know Draco's family is in the middle of it but he won't tell me any details. I suspect that's to protect me in some way. A boy in my year, his name is Harry, and two of his friends have been gone this year. Lots of rumours so I don't know what to believe. With everything that's been going on with me I haven't paid it much mind. I do know that people have died, most of them muggles."

"That's terrible, Bell."

"Yes. This bastard is a real piece of work. He idolizes purebloods above all else and he isn't even one himself. His father was a muggle."

"How does Draco fit into this?"

"His father is what is called a Death Eater. They carry out the bastard's dirty work and protect him. His mother has to publicly support her husband because it's expected of her, though Draco suspects she hasn't believed any of this stuff for a long time. Draco was being conditioned to follow his father, except he met me." Phoebe smiles at me.

"You saved him." It's a fact, not a question.

"I think I did. All I simply was, was his friend. I was with Keelan and didn't have any romantic feelings or otherwise. But I listened to him, gave him advice, and ultimately had to let him choose his own path. I'm very proud of him."

"You have every reason to be. And I'm proud of you, Bell." My 'brows knit together.

"Why?" Phoebe suddenly gives me a hug and moves hair off my face.

"For being you. For seeing the best in people even if they don't always deserve it. And especially when they don't see it themselves. For keeping it together when you have every right to break down. For being strong." Tears leak out of my eyes and down my face.

"You're amazing, Phoeb. You're a wonderful friend." We smile at each other and I try to ignore another painful contraction. It must show on my face because Phoebe frowns.

"I'm getting your mother." Before I can stop her she's left my room. I huff and throw my arm down on the bed behind me. A minute later Phoebe and my mum enter my room, both looking worried.

"I think we should go to the hospital, Bell." I shake my head.

"No. I do not want to go there. If I go there it means I won't be leaving until I deliver." Sudden, angry tears trails their way down my face. My mum sits beside my.

"Sweetheart, you've carried her this far, let the doctors do the work for you now." The anger dissipates as quickly as it came and I'm suddenly, utterly exhausted. Mentally and physically drained. I have nothing left to give and it scares me. "I'm going to call the hospital and let them know we're coming, okay?" I nod, my eyes closed, and listen as my door shuts. I feel Phoebe take my mum's spot on my bed.

"Is your bag packed?" I nod again and point at my dresser. Sitting beside it are two bags. One for me and one for the baby. I somehow managed to convince Nate to help me pack it. Seeing him put a big pack of industrial sized pad into the bag is something I'll never forget. I open my eyes and watch Phoebe retrieve them and set them on my desk. "Do you want to change or wear that?" I'm wearing pajamas. Not much sense in wearing actual clothes if I can't go anywhere.

"Yes. Maybe changing will help me feel better." Phoebe smiles and helps me pick out a comfy pair of leggings and a tank top, completing the ensemble with a sweater I stole from Jordan. "I do feel better."

"That's the spirit. Come on, I'll help you down the stairs." I pee first and then we make our way to the kitchen where mum and Jordan are sitting at the table. They both look up as we enter the room.

"I've called the hospital to let them know. They said they would alert your doctor."

"That's my sweater." I grin at Jordan.

"Going to take it back?"

"You've stretched it beyond recognition. No way it's fitting me now." I snort and flick his forehead. Jordan is a foot taller than me, with a broad, stocky build. He played rugby in school and I think his arm is as big as my head.

"Come now, children. No matter how old you get, you're still toddlers." I catch my mum's eyeroll and Jordan chuckles. It's nice to see them getting along. He changed while I was at Hogwarts and for the better. Nate tells me he's cleaned his act up and has stopped hanging around the losers that influenced him so heavily. I suspect his girlfriend has something to go with it but he still hasn't told anyone about her.

I jump a little when there's a sudden tap at the kitchen window. I hear my brother mutter bloody owls.. before opening the window and untying the parchment from it's leg. It swoops off as soon as the letter is freed and Jordan hands it to me. I recognize the messy scrawl and frown.

"Something the matter?" I shove it in my bag and decide to deal with it later.

"Nothing at all. Shall we get a move on then?" I catch a look between Jordan and Phoebe but ignore it, instead slipping my shoes on.

+++

It's late at night and everyone has gone home. After much stalling I finally pull the letter out of my bag and resume my frown at it. It's from Keelan. Before overthinking it too much I slide the string off and unroll it.

Whatever Malfoy told you about me isn't true.

I flip the page over, knowing there's nothing on the other side. What in Merlin's name is that about? I haven't gotten any other letters from Lena or Draco since Friday so I have no idea what Keelan is on about. Before Christmas I had heard a rumour that he'd joined Voldemort and become a Death Eater but I couldn't believe it to be true. But I don't know him anymore, that much is clear. And this letter isn't promising either way.

I fling it away from me and slam my fists into the bed's mattress. Like I'd suspected, I've been admitted to the hospital until I deliver. I don't know how I'm going to send or receive letters now. I doubt the hospital takes too kindly to owls flapping around the halls. I huff out a sigh and lay back against the pillows. Damnit. Before I can wallow for too long a nurse strolls in.

"Hello, dear. I'm here to hook up your monitoring belt so we can keep track of your contractions." I nod and she pulls two long elastics with holes at even intervals out of a drawer. I sit forward as she wraps them around my back and belly, securing them with what looks like a plastic disc with a metal knob in the middle. "This one will monitor baby's heart rate, and this one will monitor your uterus for any contractions. They're a little uncomfortable but unfortunately have to stay on at all times."

I nod and readjust myself on the bed. "Dr Anne said something about effacement?"

"Effacement is the thinning of the cervix and it happens at the beginning of labour. Luckily you're only about 50% effaced and not dilated at all. Good signs for now. It could take hours to change or weeks so we'll keep our heads up." The nurse, whose name tag says Theresa, smiles at me in what I think she believes to be a comforting way. I just want her to go a-way.

"Thank you."

"No problem, dear. If you need anything just press the call button." After another smile and busies herself out of my room. Without anyone here to keep me company I feel edgy and stressed. Keelan's letter didn't help matters much. He may not be involved but his actions could indirectly effect the baby's life. I don't want that to happen.

Without many other options I roll onto my left side and try to get some sleep.